I ran this title by a friend who said, “It’s about time you addressed overweight Christians.” I answered, “No, not obesity… opacity. It’s the state of being veiled or concealed, the opposite of transparency.”
To use my favorite word from The King and I, it’s a puzzlement that a people who profess faith in a sovereign God and His call to love, serve and forgive so often interact with a veiled concealment of how they are, what they believe or how they feel. And yet this lack of transparency extracts a heavy cost.
Don’t misunderstand, excessive transparency costs much too. We all know people with no filters on what they say or who they say it to. This isn’t just uncomfortable; it can drive conflict or otherwise disrupt life and ministry. Excessive openness with untrustworthy persons can literally ruin lives, families and churches.
But it seems to me that within the church we default to excessive opacity. Who hasn’t arrived at church and, when asked “How are you?”, answered back, “We’re all fine,” when we really were not? I don’t advocate turning these brief greetings into full flown therapy sessions, but wouldn’t an honest, “It’s been a tough day, but we’re here,” be more helpful?
I’ve heard the excuses. “If the church knew my struggle, they wouldn’t take me seriously.” “If I project that all is well, I can turn it around and it will be.” “If I say something, I’ll be outcast from the group.” “I’ve got to figure this out myself.” With these we justify the veil.
But such opacity has a cost. What exactly?
First, the energy required maintaining the vail leaves less energy for solving whatever issues we have. The cost of resolving most problems increases the longer they persist. In the 70’s a popular oil filter brand promoted regular car maintenance with the slogan, “You can pay be now, or pay me later,” as in, “Pay a smaller fee for a good oil filter now or a much higher fee for an overhaul later.” It’s wisdom worth heeding for most of the matters we face, personally, relationally, and most definitely in the church.
Second, opacity isolates us from others who, if they saw behind the veil, might be God’s provision for us. God created us as social beings, with a need for each other. That’s why he calls Christians to a local church, and why local churches connect through networks and conventions. We need each other. Christians need other Christians. Pastors and those of us serving in ministry likewise need our colleagues. But, since none of us have ESP, we can only help one another when the veil comes down.
Of course, the veil only comes down in an atmosphere of trust. And trust only grows through an established relationship. As my friend Bob Bumgarner says, “We don’t trust who we don’t know.” But the more we know and prove faithful to each other, the more trust grows. This over time allows more of the veil to fall.
With whom can you be most transparent? Think about it and leave your comments in the space below.
Have a great weekend. If you need a hand, give us a call. We’re better together!
Bro. Jim